


Maintenance

by RosyPalms



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Anal Sex, Artificial Intelligence, Cheating, Creampie, Cuckolding, Doggy Style, F/M, Harems, Large Cock, Micropenis, Missionary Position, Other, Robot Sex, Robot/Human Relationships, Romance, Smut, Surveillance, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 11:01:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16474316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosyPalms/pseuds/RosyPalms
Summary: After getting some upgrades, EDI requires the sort of maintenance only Shepard can provide.





	Maintenance

One day, Shepard received a voice mail from EDI, asking for a private talk. He invited her to his quarters readily.

“Pardon the intrusion, Commander”, EDI said upo0n arrival.  
“No problem, EDI. What can I do for you?”  
“It’s about Jeff and the… augmentations you helped me acquire, sir”, she said. Shepard didn’t know what to expect, but he offered her a seat and asked her to elaborate.

“First of all I’d like to mention that Jeff is very happy about the augmentations, sir”. Shepard nodded contently. He had supported EDI’s and Joker’s relationship from the start and had recently allowed EDI to procure parts that would allow them to get intimate with one another.  
“However, I have concerns regarding the functionality of the assets”.  
“Why is that, EDI?”, Shepard asked.  
“Can you promise me to treat what I’m about to tell you confidentially?”, she asked sincerely. Shepard raised an eyebrow, but nodded his agreement.  
“You see, due to Jeff’s Vrolik syndrome and his micropenis, practically no strain is put on my new orifices”, she said matter-of-factly, making Shepard choke on his coffee.

“A-and you’re sharing your concerns with me instead of Joker because…?”, he stuttered, wiping his mouth.  
“From what I understand, telling your man that you can barely register him penetrating you is considered a faux pas”, she said. Shepard saw her point.  
“Alright, but how exactly do I play into this?”, Shepard asked.  
“I would like you to help me conduct a stress test”, EDI said.

A moment of silence passed.  
“Are you asking me to fuck you?”, Shepard asked, perplexed.  
“Essentially, yes”  
“B-but… wouldn’t that mean cheating on Joker?”, Shepard asked.  
“I do not feel pleasure like you do during intercourse, Shepard. My satisfaction comes from pleasing Jeff. I’m only asking you to help me perform maintenance”, EDI said. Shepard considered it. Despite her clearly robotic appearance, EDI’s body was certainly shaped nicely. Furthermore, he was curious about her new features.

“I am registering an increase in your heart rate as well as your eyes focusing on my breasts. Is that a yes?”, she asked dryly.  
“U-um, n-no… I mean, even if I were willing to help out with this, why me specifically?”  
“Commander, I consider you one of my closest friends. I don’t know who else I could confide in on this matter”, she said. Shepard felt flattered.

“Furthermore, an analysis of approximately 350 hours of video footage of your sexual encounters with Ashley Williams, Diana Allers, Dr. Chakwas, Gabby, Jack, Kasumi, Yeoman Chambers, Liara, Miranda, Samara, Tali, Specialist Traynor, Aria, Dr. Michel, Emily Wong, Helena Blake, Kahlee Sanders, Khalisah al-Jilani, Matriarch Aethyta, Oriana Lawson, Shiala and the Asari Consort led me to believe that you are better equipped for the task than anybody else on board”, EDI said.

Shepard was stunned. Only upon hearing the list did he realize just how many women he had fucked recently. The fact that EDI had hundreds of hours of video of him fucking didn’t help. Thinking about all his conquests made him hard.

“Your heart rate rose during my recitation of your sexual partners, Shepard. Your erection is now plainly visible through your pants. Does this mean you accept?”, EDI asked, unfazed.  
“Look, EDI, admittedly, I fucked a lot of women, but does that make me the best choice for this job?”  
“The quantity of your partners is irrelevant. Their comments during intercourse were more important to my evaluation. Certain commonalities were found with all of them. They all described your penis as very large, calling it _huge, gigantic,_ or _bigger than a krogan’s_ , amongst other things.”, she said. Shepard remembered Jack making that krogan comparison.  
“Those comments were corroborated by various complaints about getting _split in half_ , and worries about _dislocating one’s jaw_ ”.

Hearing EDI say these things so casually was turning him on. He sighed and readjusted his boner. His pants were getting way too tight at that point.  
“Also, your penis is plainly visible on the recordings. A phallus of its dimensions should make for an excellent stress test, and having someone who’s experienced at pleasuring women perform it should allow me to test the newly installed pleasure sensors as well”, she said.  
“Have the sensors been malfunctioning?”, Shepard asked.  
“I’m not sure, they were active during intercourse with Jeff, but they showed no reaction. I couldn’t diagnose any issues with them, hence the need for a test”, EDI explained.

Shepard was just about to give his consent when something else occurred to him. It wasn’t really an issue, but he imagined that EDI’s answer would probably turn him on even more.  
“Say, EDI, everything you’ve recounted so far sounded painful. What makes you think I’m good at pleasuring women?”, he asked.  
“Another commonality was the appreciation displayed after the conclusion of sexual relations and eagerness to do it again. Organic beings tend to avoid unpleasant experiences while seeking out pleasurable ones. I think the most impressive comment made in that respect came from Specialist Traynor, a self-described lesbian, when you copulated with her for the third time in two days after your first encounter with her. She said, and I quote: " _Come on, Daddy Sheppy! Take your thick, white baby dough and pump it straight into my oven! I want it! Fill me up, daddy!_ ”

Shepard groaned. Thinking about Traynor, that insatiable little slut, got him in the mood. He stood up and started undressing, if only to give his dick some room.  
“Alright, EDI, I’ll help you”, he said.  
“I knew I could count on you, Commander. Thank you”, she replied and got up. Her epidermis changed. Her entire body, save for her head turned black. On her breasts, protrusions akin to nipples formed, and between her legs a cleft appeared.

“Initiating self-lubrication”, EDI said. Shepard looked at her artificial snatch. At first nothing seemed to happen, but then a clear liquid oozed out of it, running down EDI’s inner thighs.  
“Ready for intercourse, Commander. Awaiting instructions”, she said, saluting him. Shepard watched her boobs jiggle for a moment.  
“Just lay down and spread your legs EDI”, he said.  
“Missionary. Basic position. Good choice for the beginning”, she commented as she climbed onto Shepard’s bed. Shepard gulped when she had put herself on display. The pitch-black artificial pussy glistened and looked very tight. It even seemed to feature a fake clitoris. He reached out and flicked the little nub. EDI uttered a squeal that sounded completely out of character for the AI.  
“Pleasure sensors appear to be functioning. I wonder why Jeff never managed to illicit a response”, she mused.

_Sorry, Joker_ , he though as he pushed his glans past EDI’s entrance.  
“No need to be careful, Shepard. This is a stress test after all”, EDI reassured him. He nodded and slammed his hips into her. She threw her head back and groaned deeply.  
“Now I know what they meant by getting split in half”, she moaned, coping with Shepard enormous size.

He couldn’t believe how realistic she felt. Her pussy was slippery beyond belief, its texture was almost indistinguishable from the real deal, and it squeezed him tightly.  
“I didn’t expect you to be so warm inside”, he moaned as he started thrusting.  
“I can turn down the temperature if it displeases you, Commander”, EDI said. Shepard just shook his head while he enjoyed the feel of her pussy. The thought of that artificial cunt, that literal fuck toy, turned him on and made him feel like slamming into her harder.

They fucked for a few minutes. Shepard moaned freely while EDI remained mostly quiet. However, Shepard noticed that she pinched her own nipples and licked her lips.  
“How’s the test going EDI? Everything in order?”, he asked.  
“Wh- erm, yes, Shepard. All systems seem to be working as intended. Vagina seems to perform well under pressure”. Shepard agreed wholeheartedly, slamming his hips a little harder into her for good measure. His big balls slapped audibly against her surprisingly soft ass.  
“Which reminds me… Initiating vibration test”, she said.

“Holy shit!”, Shepard cried. The fleshy vice hugging his dick suddenly trembled like a vibrator.  
“Should I st-oh!”, EDI yelped. Shepard had suddenly started cumming like crazy. A small sucker at the end of her faux pussy latched onto the tip of Shepard’s cock, absorbing all of his ejaculate.

When he pulled his dick out, EDI’s pussy looked just as pristine as ever and not a single drop of his jizz was leaking.

“So, are we done?”, Shepard asked.  
“We’re about halfway there, Commander. My vagina seems to be fully functional. It assumed its original shape even after your penis stretched it, your sperm was absorbed in its entirety as was intended, and all pleasure sensors worked perfectly. You ejected approximately 300 milliliters of semen, by the way”, EDI said.  
“Is that a lot?”  
“Absolutely”, she said.  
“Nice. And what else is there left to test?”, Shepard asked. EDI got on all fours, shaking her butt. To his surprise it jiggled enticingly.  
“My anus”, EDI said, grabbed her butt cheeks and pulled them apart, showing off her black little asshole. Lubricant was oozing from it, it stood a little agape and twitched, as if it was winking at the Commander.

Shepard was eager to try that tantalizing little hole. He came up behind her and slapped his mighty cock between her ass cheeks to rub himself against them for a bit.  
“EDI, you said your pleasure sensors worked fine, right? Does that mean you enjoyed yourself?”, he asked as his glans prodded her anus.  
“Yes, Shepard. My perception of pleasure is, of course, not the same as yours, but if the registered spikes in accumulated stimuli I experienced are to be analogous to orgasms, I came eight times”, she said.

“Great. Would it be possible for you to demonstrate your enjoyment? That’d make it better for your partner, you see”, he asked.  
“Of course, Commander. Disabling inhibitors”  
“Well then, take this!”, Shepard said and rammed his massive dick up EDI’s ass in one go. The AI screamed and started writhing. Her ass felt very different from her pussy. While her snatch had felt like a very convincing approximation of reality, her ass was far from it. Her insides were heavily textured. It was ribbed and covered with bumps of various sizes. It was an interesting sensation, and it made him want to thrust some more.

Shepard got onto his feet and started slamming into EDI. She moaned and cried excitedly and her arms buckled from the onslaught. Shepards heavy nuts slapped against her pussy, triggering her fake clit, making EDI giggle with delight.  
“How is it, EDI?”, Shepard asked.  
“Your big fucking dick feels so good, Shep. Fuck my naughty little ass!”, she giggled and sighed. Shepard felt her flexing her anus as she said it, making the hole almost unbearably tight. However, if she tightened up, he just had to soften her up again.

Shepard’s thrusts came faster and faster. He had never fucked an ass this hard before. His balls were aching from slamming against her so hard, but she had asked for a stress test and he was going to give it to her.

She moaned like a slut every time her ass got stuffed with Shepard’s fat cock.  
“Harder! Break me!”, she begged between moans. The Commander tried his best to fulfill her wish. The bed creaked under their violent fucking, EDI screamed his name, and Shepard battered her with his dick.

Eventually, when EDI was reduced to a whimpering mess, Shepard reached his climax. The AI giggled when he grunted, pumping unheard of amount of jizz into her artificial rectum. Every throb of his cock delivered another shot deep inside her, until she was filled to the brim. Shepard yanked out his massive penis and stood over EDI, ejaculating all over her sleek, black back.

Once the orgasm ceased, he dropped onto his butt and breathed hard. EDI looked at him over her shoulder and smiled lewdly for a moment before her face returned to its normal, reserved expression.  
“Test concluded. All systems are in order”, she explained dryly as Shepard watched her asshole close, sealing his load within her.  
“Thank you very much for your help, Commander. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll need to use your shower for a moment. Your last ejaculation exceeded my maximum capacity of one liter”, she said, and left him on the bed. He watched her go, thinking how sexy her ass looked with his cum all over it.

EDI returned after three minutes, free of cum, and back to her customary semi-transparent look.  
“Commander, I’ll be taking my leave now. I’ll approach you again when it’s time for maintenance”, she said, and turned to leave.  
“Wait! Are you saying this will be a regular thing?”, Shepard asked incredulously.  
“Of course, sir. Unless you don’t want to?”. Shepard looked at EDI’s perfectly molded ass for a long moment.  
“No, it’s fine. One more thing though… What happens with all the cum I pumped into you?”, he asked.  
“Your semen will be put into cold storage and donated to the next available sperm bank. Would you prefer for me to dispose of it instead?”, EDI asked.  
“No no no, that’s fine”, he said airily. He leaned back to take a nap while EDI took her leave.

* * * * *

A few minutes later, EDI returned to the bridge.  
“There you are”, Joker greeted her warmly. EDI gently placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to peer at his monitor. It showed a live feed of the surveillance camera in the Commander’s quarters.  
“How did you like the show, Jeff?”, she asked huskily. Joker grinned and pulled out a sticky white tissue. Both of them chuckled.

“Was it as good as it looked?”, he asked, placing a hand on EDI’s ass.  
“Better. Shepard’s cock feels so good. Thank you for letting me have it”, she murmured into his ear.  
“Hey, so long as my girl’s satisfied...”, Joker said and kissed her.  
“Too bad you can’t do it with your baby dick, Jeff”. The mockery made Joker feel excited. He squeezed EDI’s butt.  
“True, but that’s what you got friends like the Commander for. I love you, EDI”. The AI gave him a kiss.  
“I love you, too, Jeff”.


End file.
